


Nightmares

by some_nights



Category: Star Trek: Discovery
Genre: Ash Tyler | Voq (Mentioned), Canon Compliant, Comfort, F/F, Friendship, Nightmares, No Romance, Past Ash Tyler/Michael Burnham, Post-Season/Series 01
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-25
Updated: 2018-07-25
Packaged: 2019-06-16 01:58:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 754
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15426555
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/some_nights/pseuds/some_nights
Summary: Michael has a nightmare and accidentally wakes up Tilly, who tries to comfort her.





	Nightmares

A hand around her neck. Tyler speaking in Klingon, laughter around her, raunchy. Her parents screaming. The hand squeezing tighter, Voq cursing her in English. Michael struggled to breathe, could feel the life drain from her body with every passing second. "tlhIngan maH taHjaj!", Tyler shouted with Voq's voice, followed by an echo of Klingon voices around them. Her vision began to swim, dots dancing in the air. "Remain Klingon!", Voq shouted in Tyler's voice. Absolute delight filled his, Tyler's eyes, at the sight of Michael helplessly trying to get his hand off her neck. She tried to say something, anything, but Tyler just pressed harder. "For T'Kuvma," he whispered into her ear.

Michael shot upright in bed, gasping for air. She couldn't help but cry, sobbing with relief and pain. She was alive. It had just been a dream. But it had also been real. The man she had given her heart to, her first love had tried to kill her. She cursed her human emotions, cursed how they made her weak in moments like these.

“Michael?”, Tilly asked sleepily. “Are you alright?”

The last thing she wanted to do was bother her roommate, so she tried to stifle her sobs again and said: “Just a nightmare, go back to bed, Tilly.”

“You know what always helps me after a bad dream?”, Tilly asked. Michael said nothing, even though she knew exactly what Tilly’s next words would be. “Talking about it.”  
Michael couldn’t help but smile. Tilly’s predictability was always endearing.

“So do you want to?”, Tilly asked.

“What?”

“Talk about it.”

Michael thought for a second. Then she shook her head. Remembering that it was dark, she said: “I’m alright. Really.”

She wasn’t, but she knew talking wouldn’t help that much. She knew exactly what she needed. It was through Ash Tyler that she had realised how touch starved she had been. How much she loved to be held. She could completely sink into his arms, no place had ever felt as safe. And then he had tried to kill her. Her Vulcan raised side knew it hadn’t really been him. It had been Voq, trapped in Lieutenant Tyler’s body. Her human side couldn’t forget his face, couldn’t forget his eyes. Even in her nightmares, they always stayed the same.

“Do you want me to talk about something? I’ve found that some people actually enjoy my habit of talking too much, it distracts them from things they’d rather not think about. Though I can’t promise I won’t bring up anything you don’t want to think about, because right now, my head is quite full of thoughts about Captain Killy. Or rather, about myself. And how much I enjoyed being her. Pretending to be her. It was fun, Michael. And sometimes I find myself missing the power she had. She seems like the kind of person who was never afraid. Should I try to be more like her? Of course, I don’t want to mindlessly slaughter people and I don’t ever want to earn myself such a nickname. But sometimes I feel I’m too open, too enthusiastic. I just...”

Tilly trailed off and Michael said: “I admire that about you. Your optimism and enthusiasm.”

“Really?”

“Really.”

In truth, she admired much more about Tilly than her positive nature. And she wasn’t sure whether admire was even the right word. She wasn’t quite ready to think of another one just yet, so admiration it was. Sometimes, she went as far as to think adoration, but that was really it.

“My mom used to tell me to stop being so naive”, Tilly said after a while.

“She was wrong. You are not naive. You are just strong enough to stay kind-hearted in this world. In that sense, you are stronger than me.”

“Oh Michael, don’t say that! You are so incredibly strong and kind in your own way. Once I’d made my way through that wall of vulcan-ness you’ve built around yourself, I discovered such a wonderful friend. You’re like Lieutenant Stamets in that way. At first, you seem cold and rational and uncaring, but actually, you are both big softies with huge hearts.”

Michael was grateful for the dark because she was pretty sure she was blushing. And she was very sure Tilly would be able to tell.

“Thank you,” she said.

“Anytime.” Tilly yawned.

Neither of them spoke after that. They lay in silence, save for their ever slowing breaths. When Michael fell asleep again shortly after Tilly, the nightmares left her alone.

**Author's Note:**

> This very short one-shot is my first ever Star Trek: Discovery fanfic. I love Tilly and Michael a lot, so if there's any interest, I might continue this and develop their relationship beyond Michael denying her obvious crush on Tilly (though there would be some of that too).
> 
> As always, comments and kudos are greatly appreciated. You can find me on [tumblr](https://writtelings.tumblr.com) if you wanna say hi.


End file.
